Confessions of a Not It Girl by Melissa Kantor

Author:Melissa Kantor [Kantor, Melissa]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: ePub Bud (www.epubbud.com)
Published: 2012-03-25T04:00:00+00:00

gobbled up?" He was slurring his words a little and leaning against me. "I could gobble you right up."

"Well, I'll definitely be sure to keep that in mind," I said, taking a step back. He swayed for a minute before catching himself on the counter. "It was nice meeting you, Alex."

"And you," said Alex.

I found Rebecca talking to one of the Joels. She was laughing at something he'd said, and she started to tell me about it, but I pulled her away and told her about what had happened with Alex. She didn't seem that impressed.

"I'm telling you," I said. "I felt like Clarice Starling."

"Weird," she said, shrugging.

"I can't believe that's what high-school guys turn into!"

"Jan, you can't judge grown men after dealing with just one of them." I wanted to point out that was exactly what she was doing with Brian, but instead I told her about Ken's guessing she wasn't really twenty-one. To my surprise, she didn't seem to care that much.

"Look, it's not like I'm illegal," she said. "I'm eighteen. In some countries I'd be too old to get married. I'd be an old maid." I had the feeling I wasn't the only one who was a little drunk.

"Yes, but we don't live in those countries," I pointed out. "Those countries have camels and...you know, weird stringed instruments. It's completely different."

"This is true," she acknowledged. She looked over by the food, where Brian was talking to a man and a woman who had their arms around each other. "How cute is he?" she asked.

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Brian looked up and saw her looking at him. He smiled. He had broad shoulders and ruddy cheeks. "He is cute," I agreed. He said something to the couple he was talking to and walked over to us.

"Is there anyone here you'd like me to introduce you to?" he asked me.

"Me? Oh, ah, no. That's okay." The last thing I needed was another cannibalistic come-on.

He looked around the room. "Yeah, it's a pretty lame lot. Sorry about that."

"No, it's not that. I just--"

"She's very particular," said Rebecca. "She won't settle for just anyone."

"Unlike you," said Brian. Rebecca smiled up at him, and then they kissed.

Could this night get any more depressing?

"So," said Brian, turning to me. "What are you looking for in a man?"

I looked around the khaki-filled room. "How about jeans?"

By midnight all my energy was going into trying not to puke, avoiding another conversation with Alex, and figuring out how to get home since "Don't forget about my curfew" seemed like the kind of thing Rebecca wouldn't want me to say in front of Brian. Meanwhile, I couldn't help noticing that in addition to having the same pants and shirts, all the Joels seemed to be wearing identical shoes and watches. It was like a scene from Attack of the Clones.

Just as I decided it was time to take a cab home alone,

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embracing freedom over solvency, Rebecca came up to me.

"Brian wants to get out of here. Do you feel like going?" Actually, the only thing I felt like doing was puking, but I didn't want to mention that.

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